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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

MARRIAGE HAPPINESS- A VIEW

Marriage happiness- a view

 1 All the survey are conditional and may not reflect the true state of affairs of each individual, except it serves as a guideline or base for understanding and thinking. It’s a needed devil.
2 Marriage is one part of life and if there are "N" parts, "N-1" part may not uproot the life or the living. And at the same time That "1" which is marriage, keeps men and women tied to the pole for limited gracing, so as to raise their standard in notable fields, without being a jumping Jack. J J has to face all the negative consequences in the long run. On the contrary concentrated, double-folded -sacrificial efforts takes one above the clouds, where the beaming success are shared. Hence again it’s a necessary devil.
3 As there is nothing called success or failure in life so too there is none in marriage too. They are all in mind. Out of control or lose my control bring about the emotional impacts of pain and pleasure or success or failure. That’s all. It’s easy to say than done. Then how to know about it? Go back to earlier days. Did you not have the gripping fear exam failure day in and day out? Now when you think about it do you get the same feeling as on that day? Never. It were your thinking thro your heart and mind fed you the feeling because you wanted it. On the contrary think of another who was never bothered about the failure because he had a back up? Same situations -similar action and the same mind. Hence concentration and sacrifice decode the mind and fears of hefty consequenes shake the life. Then its in you to keep straight and is possible as the mind of the silver spoon boy. Back up is with you and you have to find it.
4 Then coming to marriage, it’s not an agreement or regd deed. As house construction depends on the type of soil, the character, so too the married life depends on the basic qualities of creation. Man is a man and a woman is a woman. I am not going to think about here, exceptions than rules. Errors are seen but rules can’t turn as exceptions because there are no boundaries. As I said earlier, two individuals join a relationship where both have to shed greater individualities and retain the effective ,non-hurt Individuality to make marriage a wonderful operation.
5 Basic sacrifice is ego. It’s impossible. It’s not easy. However have you ever noticed that 9 out of 10 times, men pick up fight at the drop of a hat while women even with the black belt avoids unless finally forced. Women are created with that kind of hidden ego while men are different. Similarly every character is designed. However today men are tending to take the women DNA in their constitution while the reverse is happening in women. The result ---unhappiness, eruption of ego. Breaks etc. Who is to blame? When its understood, skirmishes could be there but effective discipline to the role assumed shall sustain the oxygen-life. It’s simple but remember who has to change and never raise the wrong DNA

6 Our concept of sanathana dharma, Tirukkural and all scriptures attribute the DNA to
KARMA which alone would explain every situation of life. Thank you.
After drafting this I saw in my email from my friend the following Incident narrated, which is not only center of life but also, exposed the real ,virtual character of a woman created, real marriage value, character of a man, the reality of the life, and the empathy hard to come by. Let me share.

Breakfast at McDonald's
This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end!
I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree.
The last class I had to take was Sociology.
The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.
Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile.'
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So, I thought this would be a piece of cake, Literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son, and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning.
It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.
We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden e veryone around us began to back away, and then
Even my husband did.
I did not move an inch... An overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.
As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body' smell, and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.
As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'
His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance....
He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching..
The second man fumbled with his hands as he stood behind his friend. I realized the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.
I held my tears as I stood there with them.
The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.
He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford. (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm).
Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes..
That is when I noticed all eyes in the
Restaurant were set on me, judging
My every action.
I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray.
I then walked arou nd the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.
He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you.'
I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you.. God is here working through me to give you hope.'
I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son.... When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me HOPE..'
We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given were we able to give.
We are not very religious goers, but we believe in GOD.
That day showed me the pure Light of God's - sweet love.
I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand.
I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it.
Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'
I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class.
She began to read and that is when I knew that we as human beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.
In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, the instructor, and ever soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.
I graduat ed with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn:
UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE.
Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and LEARN how to
LOVE PEOPLE AND USE THINGS – &
NOT LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE.There is an Angel sent to watch over all of us.Some wise person wrote:Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart
To handle yourself, use your head...To handle others, use your heart.
God Gives every bird it 's food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
If this comes back to you, you know you have friends

Thursday, March 15, 2012

'Never let your self-worth diminish
Prakash Iyer, MD, Kimberly-Clark Lever and Executive Coach shares two important management lessons he learnt from a
500-rupee note. Read on.
1. It happened some years ago but I can recall the evening like it happened just last week. I was in an audience listening to a motivational guru.
The speaker whipped out his wallet and pulled out a five hundred-rupee note. Holding it up, he asked, "Who wants this five hundred rupee note?"
Lots of hands went up. Including mine. A slow chorus began to build as people began to shout "Me!" "Me!" I began to wonder who the lucky one would be who the speaker would choose. And I also secretly wondered -- and I am sure others did too -- why he would simply give away five hundred rupees. Even as the shouts of "I want it" grew louder, I noticed a young woman running down the aisle. She ran up onto the stage, went up to the speaker, and grabbed the five hundred-rupee note from his hand. "Well done, young lady," said the speaker into the microphone. "Most of us just wait for good things to happen. That's of no use. You've got to make things happen." The speaker's words have stayed with me ever since.
'Simply thinking about doing something is of no use'
Our lives are like that. We all see opportunities around us. We all want the good things. But the problem is we don't take action.
We all want the five hundred rupee notes on offer. But we don't make the move. We look at it longingly and wonder who will be the lucky one -- instead of making our own luck. To be fair, some of us do think of running onto the stage and grabbing it. But we quickly hold ourselves back, because we worry about what people might think. Has it ever happened to you that you see a successful new product or a flourishing new business -- and remind yourself of how you had thought of that very idea many years ago? Well, that's not worth much. You may have had the idea first, but someone else did something about it -- so he'll reap the rewards. Next time you have an idea -- remember that simply thinking about doing something is of no use. Do something. Next time you see an opportunity -- think of the lady and the five hundred rupee note.

Remember, just wanting it is of little use. Get up, and do something about it. Don't worry about what other people might think. Take action.
2. Several years later, it was another day, another time.
And another motivational guru. As I watched him pull out a five hundred rupee note and hold it up for all to see, I thought I knew what he was going to do next. But he just asked a simple question. "How much is this worth?" "Five Hundred rupees!" the crowd yelled in unison. "Right," said the speaker. He then took the note and crumpled it into a ball and asked "How much is it worth now?" "Five Hundred rupees!" screamed the audience.
He then threw the note on the ground, stamped all over it and picked up the note and asked one more time: "And how much is it worth now?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" was the response. "I want you to remember this," said the speaker. "Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish. We should all be like the five hundred rupee note. In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped over, beaten. But never let your self-worth diminish. Just because someone chooses to crush you -- that doesn't change your worth one bit! Don't allow your self-worth to diminish because someone says something nasty -- or does something dirty -- to you."
just take action to make it that way!
***********************************************************************
MY THINKING


Yes the motto is right but never always. The episodes of 500 note is the beginning of the pep-up book which came to market long ago by whicj the authors found the weakness of human to become rich and became a billionaire.
If it’s Mr. Prosnen I would have thought he has to go a long way back. But Its Indian name and In India finer texts existed and exist since at least 5000 years. We always forget our kith and kin and nation and its assets but access the lesser value easily and adapt.
I can also tell a Rs 500 tale. A 500 note was lying on the pedestrian path. People walked thro regularly. Dome never looked at it. Some felt it’s a joke and passed away. Some had the desire to pick up but felt ashamed. Some attempted to pick it up; but since it flew some distance in the wind felt too tired to chase and left. Few tactful tried some methods to grab it without being seen by others and since it were not possible left the scene of action. One was a dare devil, so picked up the note come what may, but found some gel like strain on the back side , thought something bad and threw it away ,to rush to wash his hands. Finally there was one who saw the note, picked it up and placed inside the Hundial near a Pillaiyar temple, saying “it’s not mine and I shall get what I deserve thro my “Nishkamya karma” and left after washing the hands too. So it reached finally where it should go.
Our Scriptures whether Upanishads or Vedic phrases teach us how to live, manage and lead kindly light, however we don’t read these which is available here as well as in all the libraries of the foreign nations without read by any one.
TATA’s forefather started a steal plant without desire but for action for the nation and raised it up well; but present generations follow Drucker, and management Gurus to fight hard to sustain. (Incidentally Drucker Peter says there were no management till 1850 and I don’t know whether to cry or laugh).
Yes “hard work with concentration with the thinking” is needed to raise oneself but actions shall be performed without the greedy expectations, since all who entered the fray with such convictions, don’t succeed similarly, is the truth. For that matter, no one needs to remain inactive. Contribution of effective work is a must; desire for others asset is a taboo; accumulated assets are to be shared; so on, so forth and this had not made any one frustrated. The cause of suffering is ignored.
“Yamarkkum kudiyallom namani anjom” and “where the mind is without fear and head held high” are as good as equally “Kalam karudhi iruppar kalngadhu Gnalam karudhubhavar” & “ Thodangarka evvinaiyum ellarka mutrum idamkanda pinnal adhu”, viz “self-worth is subjective and shall be evaluated for that level of success. Exception never make a rule.